I get it, girls. There's always that one person in your class that you end up drooling over, daydreaming about, casually clicking on their Facebook page - yeah, I'm an expert at this. During my high school years, I had a huge crush on a guy named James. I loved everything he did. His stupid jokes, his snort when he laughed, the way he played the drums and his disheveled curly hair. I was the tomboy in school, who was always seen as one of the guys. Which in one way was great, because I had many guy friends, but I was never looked at as a viable dating option. When it came to trying to make James notice me as a potential love interest, I did just about everything wrong. But, don't rush me, we'll get into all that as I teach you the dos and don'ts of getting your crush to notice you!
James and I turned out to be good friends. He would tell me about the girls he was interested in and I would listen, as a friend would, but secretly wish he was talking about me. I know the feelings, it's painful when you like somebody so much and they seem unattainable to you. Highschool eventually came to an end and we remained as we always were, friends.
Once I began college, I started to meet new people, went to parties, found my style and myself. Although he remained a huge crush of mine- distance, school, life, took us down different paths. A year or two later, we ended up running into each other at a party and it was like I was seeing my crush for the first time. This was a great chance for me to start fresh and see if our relationship could take on a new direction, would he notice me? Here are some helpful tips to help you to get your crush to notice you.
Dress to impress
People make initial first impressions within the first 30 seconds of seeing someone. Now, don't go to the mall and buy a bunch of clothes because of your crush. You should want to dress for yourself. Dress in what makes you feel comfortable and confident! If you like wearing converse sneakers, wear them! If you want to wear high heels, then go for it! Wear make-up or go all natural. Wear what makes you feel good and you will glow from the inside out. Regardless if things work out for you and your crush or not, dressing for yourself will help with your confidence and self-esteem. If you're scared to wear make-up or wear certain clothes because you're not used to using eyeshadow or matching prints, don't hesitate to ask for help from someone at the store you're shopping at. If you want to learn how to wear makeup and apply it properly, go into any make-up store and ask them for some assistance. They'll be more than happy to help.
Make a good first impression
As discussed previously, first impressions are formulated within the first 30 seconds of meeting someone. That being said, you don't have a lot of time! Introduce yourself, smile, be open and friendly. Remember not to force it, though. If you are naturally a shy person, forcing yourself to act in a manner that is unfamilar to you will come off as awkward and unnatural. It's always nice to make a good first impression, but if it didn't turn out as well as you'd like, there is always next time.
Talk to your crush
So you've overcome obstacle #1, the first impression. Now, an average guy will decide within the next 5 minutes of conversation if they are engaged with your banter and would like to progress forward in the conversation. Men and women aren't stupid. We can all figure out if someone is a talker or more on the shy side. Whatever you are, it's ok. If your crush is interested, he will adjust himself by either talking more or less, whatever the situation dictates. But regardless if you're a chatterbox or a silent film, be sure to ask your crush questions. See what they like, what their interests are and if you have anything in common. Most importantly, be attentive and show that you're truly interested in his answers. Both men and women alike enjoy this type of attention and it will help to relax him and make him more comfortable with your dialogue. Don't forget this important tidbit, however, when I say ask questions, don't interview them! Try to let the conversation develop naturally. By finding similar interests, the conversation will have something to work off of and the conversation will start to flow. Keep the conversation light and easy - don't talk about how they just failed their exam (unless this means you're going to help them study).
Share his interests
So, you've found out that your crush goes to a Saturday morning painting class. Great! Why not sign-up? Sharing an appreciation for your crush's interests shows that you genuinely like spending time with them. However, if you aren't into his/her interests then you shouldn't force yourself to do something you don't enjoy. Give it a try, but if you're biting your lip at the thought of painting another picture, stay at home. You should also re-evaluate your compatibility with your crush if you being to realize that you don't share any mutual interests.
Get to know your crush's friends
Too shy to directly talk to your crush? If you feel more comfortable talking to their friends then do so. Maybe you'll make some new friends in the process or connect with someone else along the way. The easiest way to get to know someone indirectly is socializing with their peers as most people with similar mindsets and interests hang out with one another. Also, by socializing with their friends you will inevitably end up involved in endeavors with your crush. Being in a group setting can ease you into directly talking to your crush. For example, if you, your crush and their friends go see a movie, you will have something to talk about with your dream man. When I started hanging out with my crush's friends, I ended up staying friends with them and still hang out with them today!
Do something nice
People always appreciate and remember genuine acts of kindness from others. Now, I said the word genuine for a reason. Because people can also sense when you're doing something simply for personal gain. If your crush was sick and missed the notes for your class, give them yours to copy. Hold the door open for them if their hands are full. Truly simple acts can go a long way. Now, be sure not to go overboard, otherwise they're going to notice and interpret it as overly-eager. Vulnerability is a good thing and is essential for love but do not let yourself become wrapped around someone's finger and end up as a doormat. No matter how much you may like your crush, you must keep your dignity and self-worth intact.
Everyone likes to be around people who have a good sense of humor. People like hanging out with people who make them feel good. Don't be scared to make jokes! Making your crush laugh will get them to notice you. Try to sense your crush's sense of humor during your conversations. Are they into witty sarcasm, dry, or silly humor? Keep the crude jokes to a minimum, as some people may be offended by them. I've always considered my sense of humor one of my strong suits. I always enjoy telling jokes and laughing with others. When people describe me, it is often one of the first characteristics they will mention. From a dating standpoint, this is a great feature to have - a good sense of humor along with the ability to take as well as dish out a good joke can go a long way.
Humans are physical by nature with 55% of communication interpreted through body language. Your crush may be more on the quiet side, however, that doesn't mean they aren't interested in you. Watching somebody's body language is a great indicator of their emotions towards you. Does your crush make eye contact with you when you speak? Do they touch you a lot? Do you catch them glancing or staring at you when (they think) you're not paying attention? When people are interested in another they tend to mimic the others body language. If sitting beside each other, check to see if your crush's body is facing towards you, their toes should be pointing in your direction. They walk beside you, instead of ahead of you. They face you while talking to you. If you look for these signs and are still unsure if your crush is into you or not, relax. There is no exact science to this. If they aren't responding to you in any way, just pull in the reigns and take it easy.
Back straight and chin up!
Confidence is key! Before you want your crush to want you back, make sure that you love yourself first. Love can be a powerful thing, but you are always number one. Know yourself, love yourself and people will see that. Keep your back straight, chin up and smile. This took me all of high school to understand and I'm still working on my confidence today. It's something that you need time with and only develops once you start to truly learn and become aware of yourself. Don't be scared of rejection if it doesn't work out with your crush. I was terrified of putting myself out there and ending up with the guy not liking me. You have to remember that this person simply may not be interested in you. I used to get so upset, I wanted them to like me, all of them. That was simply my self-esteem and ego speaking. Remember: Not everyone will like you and that's ok. If they don't see your beauty, someone who deserves you will! That being said, don't be scared to give it a go!
Breathe and relax
It's going to be okay. Listen, everyone has gone through the experience of having a crush, sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. Don't make a huge deal out of them and place them on a pedestal. With James, I placed him on a shelf of Gods, and when it came down to being honest and open with him, I froze. Your crush is a person, you have to remember that. By thinking they are something extraordinary and amazing, you will work yourself into a nervous frenzy when you have to approach them. Everything will be good, you just need to breathe and stay relaxed.
Having a crush is always a nerve racking experience. You spend hours thinking and analyzing what they said to you, how they said it, how they looked at you. And no matter what I say to you right now, you're going to spend your time thinking about this kind of stuff - which is completely normal. Humans are emotional beings. The best advice I can say is for you to be yourself.
In the end, James and I didn't work out. As we became closer friends, I realized that he and I wanted different things in our lives. Also, I saw that yes, he did like me, but he didn't love me. So you and your crush may get into a relationship, but if they don't like you as much as you like them, it'll be a one-sided relationship. But if they like the real you, great and if they don't, oh well. It's not worth forcing a relationship with someone who doesn't appreciate you. That being said, you'll never know until you try. So, go talk to your crush and make it fun! Don't live thinking, what if? Just do it!