Fashion police

  • Always Dress "As If"

    Don't lie, you've been there before. You're not alone. We've all suffered from that epicly embarrassing fashion fail at one point or another. The type of horrifying moment you couldn't conjure up in your most demonic and disturbing of nightmares. Hopefully, it's well in the past and you've fully recovered. If not, don't crawl in a hole just yet.

    With the new year rapidly approaching and a new resolution that would traditionally go with it, I thought today would be an appropriate time to discuss the importance of always being sure to dress your best! I've gotten a head start on my resolution and, as you'll soon find out, for good reason. Perhaps by the time the New Year rolls around, my thought's will resonate and you'll make a resolution of your own; to always be dressed "as if". Dress as if you were being stalked by the paparazzi, as if you were on a reality show and knew the world were watching you, as if you knew you'd be awkwardly stumbling into your ex... and his lovely new fiance.

    Whether dressing up for a winter formal, homecoming, a night out with the girls, or, as you'll soon see why, even if you're just walking your dog, it's always important to be conscious of your appearance strive to look your best. After all, you never know who you're going to run into! No matter how hard we try, ghosting ourselves is an impossibility. We've yet to discover a method for achieving invincibility, so accept the inevitable, you're going to be seen. Read on for a short story detailing how and why I finally realized that it's time to make sure I'm always dressed "as if".

    alexander wang quote

    Its 7 a.m. and my alarm goes off, echoing the most revolting of noises one could hope to rise and greet a new day with. Not only am I now awake (begrudgingly), but my dog has decided to take a morning stroll upon my face. Time to start my day. First thing's first, time to take the pooch out for his (official) morning walk. As I scramble to find my glasses, and something warm to go for a walk in, the thought never crosses my mind that I will actually be appearing in public. I've just dressed myself in a black and yellow Batman hat, baby blue hoodie, over sized sweatpants, two different color Ugg boots, neon pink gloves, and to top it off, a purple fur coat. (FASHION NO NO!!!) I figured hey, its 7:00 in the morning who am I going to cross paths with at this time. Well, of course, I immediately run into two neighbors (should have seen that one coming), get three honks acknowledging my atrocious ensemble, and here comes the kicker; as I am crossing the street with my dog, I fall flat on my face. Traffic was stopped and a small village gathered to help me get my bearings and make sure I was alright. It was an all around disaster, to say the least!

    And, with that 'experience,' I have FINALLY learned my lesson. No matter where I am  going, it is important to understand the likelihood of encountering other human beings... and to dress accordingly. I have no excuse for the outlandish outfit I had put together, considering that my closet is overflowing with adorable hoodies and matching sweatpants. So ladies, common courtesy to the general public, put a little effort into your look. No matter whether walking your dog or having a fun night out with the gal pals.

    When it comes to a quick walk outside with Scruffy or a jaunt to the nearest convenience store, there are some easy fashion staples you can always keep in mind to look put-together without much effort at all.

    For starters, oversized sunglasses are VERY helpful- not only do they help disguise you, they cover up the bags under your eyes or the smeared makeup you were too tired to wash off from the night before.  Throwing on a pair of leggings or yoga pants is always a cute choice for a fast fashion fix, while still maintaining your level of comfort. As for tops, I love wearing oversized sweatshirts with my leggings... and MATCHING UGG boots, of course! Yeah, pair them up, I assure you the two seconds it could take is much less agonizing than the shame you'll endure while others take notice of the fashion fail.

    After my morning shenanigans, I come to the conclusion that it is time to give my Batman hat to my 8 year old cousin. My baggy sweatpants will be worn only in my house and, as for my purple fur coat, there's just no acceptable reason to validate how it ever entered my closet, nonetheless made its way onto my person. I'll try to donate it and, after Goodwill rejects it, I'll toss it in the dumpster to the side of their building.

    Alexander Wang said it best:

    "Anyone can get dressed up and glamorous but it is how people dress in their days off that are the most intriguing."

    -Alexander Wang

    So, with those ever so slight yet vitally important alterations made, my newfound resolution to "Dress Your Best" is well under way. And, what better way to kick off that resolution than by picking out some cute new digs here at Rissy Roo's

    Have you ever been caught wearing some major fashion no-no's? Leave us a comment below and share your most embarrassing experience.

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